My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
