I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
