You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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