My hand turned me down
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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