Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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