in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
