She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
