Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
