the day after is always just damage control
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
