Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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