question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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