It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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