haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize