Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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