why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
