At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
