We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
