Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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