I think I won the penis lottery.
You can't special order awesome
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
