You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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