this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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