Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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