dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
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We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
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His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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