Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
