I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
