He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
