dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
