I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
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