Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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