yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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