Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
