This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
