not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
