i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize