I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
