she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
