are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
