the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
