I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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