Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
