My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
