no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
