I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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