Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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