I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize