When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
