shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
