So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
