You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
