Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
