she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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