New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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