Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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