I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
