Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
then he tried to convert me to islam
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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