i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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