So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
