We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
