hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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