Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
