i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
