Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
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Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
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It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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