a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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